Maintaining Peace and Happiness in Your Relationship During the Holidays

It all seems so cliché… Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy New Year… blah, blah, blah. For the majority of Americans, the holidays have become more about consumerism and expectations of material reward rather than realizing the true spirit of what the holidays may represent in our heart and soul. Many of us seem to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of shopping, seeking out all the latest and greatest gadgets that the retail market has to offer. The holidays can be a wonderful time for family get-togethers, parties, traditions and customs, yet all the added stress and pressure can certainly take a toll on our personal relationships. The obligations of gift-giving and demands from our friends and families can greatly affect our mental, emotional and physical health.

During the holidays, we may feel torn with dividing time between families – especially if we are in a partnership and have different ideas on where to travel to, or who to invite over for dinner. Extended family dynamics can be trying on your relationship, as everyone brings their own set of values, expectations and unique personalities to the table. The more we stress out over all the little details and judge how others choose to live their lives, then the more negative energy we contribute to the mix. We can enjoy and celebrate diversity in honoring one another’s beliefs and practices. When we can let go of our expectations and trust that all is well no matter who or what shows up in our reality, then we are able to relax and enjoy whatever life offers.

It may be easier said than done to remain calm and in a peaceful state of joyous holiday cheer. With all the additional social functions, expenses, travel logistics and family dramas, the stress of dealing with it all can sometimes push us over the edge. We tend to take out our frustrations on those closest to us – usually our significant others who take the brunt of our inevitable holiday madness. During this time of enhanced activity and intense emotion, it can sometimes be a ‘make or break’ time in our relationships. Certain situations may bring us closer together or drive us apart.

Whenever we feel anxiety, stress or tension about whatever we’re observing or experiencing, just pause for a moment and try to count your proverbial blessings. We’ll have a much more positive experience when we strive to maintain an ‘attitude of gratitude’ and see the wonder and beauty in all things – even what we may not understand or agree with. When we spend our energy criticizing other people and situations, then we tend to draw more unpleasantness into our life. If we look for what we enjoy and appreciate about others, especially our significant others, our perspectives will begin to shift and we see them in a whole new light.

Consider giving the gift of experience rather than a tangible item. Happy and fun memories are much more meaningful than some store-bought thingamajig that we’ll forget about soon after. Plan an entertaining outing with your family or a night out on the town with your sweetie. Celebrate your companionship by doing something fun together; go to a concert, a play, a comedy show, out dancing, or whatever you may both enjoy. Taking time to nourish your personal relationships by spending quality time together is more beneficial than anything with a price tag.

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” ~Helen Keller

During your busy holiday schedule, make time to sexually reconnect with your significant other. Investing time and energy in your relationship may help make everything else in your life much easier and more joyful. If you do feel compelled to purchase a gift for your lover, make it something that you can both enjoy! Schedule time for deep intimate connection, lock the doors, turn off the phones and ‘deck your halls with balls of jolly’! Offer him a special gift bag labeled “To Us” so you can open together. You may include some fun personal products such as massage bodyglide gel with a handmade voucher good for a sensual massage. Treat him to a special personal experience with a ‘happy ending’. You may also want to include a couples sex toy, stimulation gel, perhaps some erotic media – whatever you can think of to spice up your intimacy. It may just bring a whole new meaning to your Oh… Oh… Oh Holy Night!

Allura Joy has worked with women of all ages and of diverse backgrounds for many years in offering support, holistic therapy and relationship counseling, as well as sharing valuable resources and useful information in the areas of women’s sexuality, health & wellness. Allura has facilitated various women’s groups, retreats, conferences and special events for women to come together in community to share, connect and support one another.

Allura also works with women individually to help resolve personal issues around relationships and intimacy, specializing in helping women who may have emotional and/or physical issues and insecurities with sexual expression and experiencing orgasm. She enjoys helping clients explore their passions in finding a sense of purpose and to manifest their dreams and desires. She is a certified Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Licensed Massage Therapist and Yoga Instructor.

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